Never Imagined
by LoveIsAlwaysx
Summary: "If it was me lying there would you just walk away?" I never thought I'd be standing here as you lie there gone forever. My world shatters as they take you away. Set somewhere in season 5. What will Castle do when he can't move on? Warning Character Death {Don't Like Don't Read}


**Never Imagined**

**A.N: Hi Guys so this is my first story and I absolutely love Castle and I was thinking about this story**

**In study hall so I figured I would post it: please be kind while reviewing constructed criticism welcome :) Enjoy!**

**Summary: "If it was me lying there would you just walk away?" I never thought I'd be standing here as you lie there gone forever. My world shatters as they take you away.**

I was awakened by the sound of my cellphone. I picked it up hoping to hear the sweet, kind voice of my girlfriend but instead it was none other than Javier Esposito. I picked up the phone because I knew that we had caught a case. Finally I feel like I'm really a cop they let me in on all there cases know.

"Yo, man we got a case, homicide on the corner of Madison Avenue and East 42nd Street, see you there?"

"10 minutes, where's Beckett?" How should I know she's _your_ girlfriend" I laughed at Esposito's snarky comment, he's still a little bit hurt that he was the last to know that we had started dating.

I stepped out of my car, took a deep breathe "these cases never get any easier" I whisper to myself. I leaned under the crime scene tape. I was greeted by the horrific sight of my partner Kevin Ryan running past me he turned the corner and headed straight towards the dumpster and I watched him throw up. I ran over to him, and as he faced me I noticed the tears streaming down his face. "Man, you ok?'' I asked curious of my partner's shocking demeanor. "No" he screamed "How can you even as me that!" He yelled as his voice began to crack. "She's dead" he continued.

I looked at my partner in shock I have never heard my partner so angry yet so broken all at the same time. Who was he talking about? Who's dead? I took another shot at trying to calm him down to get the story straight. "Ryan, take a breath, who's dead?" I asked trying to get the information out of my partner. "It's…it's…oh my god" he leaned over the dumpster again and he threw up for the fourth time that morning.

Finally I decided that I would just go and look for myself seeing as whatever was behind that gate was the reason that my partner was falling apart in front of my very eyes. I stepped past the tape, and then the gate, and as I walked closer, I felt my stomach start to turn as I saw the body lying there on the ground. I stared back at my partner in horror. I soon felt a familiar wetness on my face I began to have tears streaming down my face as I glanced at the body. I felt my throat close, I felt myself losing the ability to breathe I walked outside of the gate and I could feel myself begin to hyperventilate. I bent over and tried to breathe, everyone turned to stare at me for my completely out of character behavior but, at that very moment I really didn't care what anyone thought the only thing I could think was that life would never be the same after today.

I finally arrived at the crime scene it took me a little longer than ten minutes but I figured they guys wouldn't mind. They probably will tease me about it later, but that's okay I thought. I looked around and I immediately noticed that Beckett wasn't there still. I had to have called her over thirty times. I walked up and saw my other partners Ryan and Esposito standing on the corner by some of the uniform officers. "Hey guys" they both looked up at me at the exact the same time. That's when I noticed the tears that were still streaming down their faces. "What's going on" I asked as I walked closer to them. They both looked at me as if they were wondering to themselves what they were going to say. It was only then that I noticed someone in the crowd that I never normally see. I saw the chief of detectives walk by the scene he was shaking his head. I thought to myself he only comes when… My breath caught in my throat, I could feel myself stop breathing for a second. "He's only here when a cop has died" I whispered barely audible. The tears on their faces, why she wasn't answering me, the chief here, and them not looking at me. I thought to myself. Then it hit me like a ton of bricks, I dropped my coffee and sprinted over to the gate. Esposito and Ryan ran ahead of me and blocked my view. I became very angry.

"Move" I said very coldly. "No" Ryan replied "You don't need to see her like this" Esposito continued. I moved closer and Esposito shoved me trying to get me not to go over there. When Royce died, she said she couldn't walk away, and now I can't walk away from her I can't, I won't I love her" I was getting angrier and angrier by the second. With all the force I could muster I shoved Ryan and Esposito, and effectively knocking them over. I ran past them and that's when I saw her, she was lying there on the cold-hard concrete. Her pretty white shirt that I saw her in yesterday was covered in bright red blood. My mind flashed back to when I saw her yesterday, we went to dinner and now she's gone. It looked like she had been stabbed not once at least twice, or three times. My heart sunk as I thought about someone stabbing her, the pain she must've felt, I wonder what she thought of before she died. Did she feel like I feel right now? How could someone hurt her at all? She had a heart of gold, that's one of the reasons I fell in love with her. I grabbed her hand and squeezed it as hard as I could as the tears streamed down my face. A million thoughts continued to race through my mind, it was only a tug on my shirt that removed me from my thoughts. It was Esposito. "Man I'm sorry they need to take her now".

"No" I screamed in his face, the next thing I knew my hand was throbbing and I was walking to my apartment with Ryan.

"What happened" I turned to ask him. "You punched Esposito and then you started to lose it so I thought it was best to bring you home" "Thanks and…" "Don't worry" Ryan said cutting me off. "It's real?" I asked him hoping he would say no. "I'm so sorry man" I felt the lump in my throat return as I thought about my new life, and it sucks. I still can't wrap my head around the fact that I'm never going to see her beautiful smile again. "How am going to tell my mother, and Alexis?" "What am I going to tell Jim?'' "I think I'll talk to him, make it a little easier on you" He said "I'm not going to tell you it's going to be alright , when I don't know if it will be." These words seemed to help just a little to know that I'm not the only one falling apart. I don't know how I'm going to handle this. I don't know if I can live without her.

**There it is I hope you guys liked it please review!**


End file.
